Do you think real happiness is achievable in your life?
Do you have any idea how to make that happen for yourself?
We’ve been fed some interesting narratives around the concept of Happiness. Let’s dive in, and hopefully reframe the way we think about - and act on - the pursuit of happiness!
LIE: Happiness = eating that cookie or do that thing that just feels good
FACT: Happiness is NOT the same as Pleasure
Things that just make you feel good (e.g. eating that cookie, wearing those cozy pajamas, lighting a candle) is not the same as happiness.
That’s called pleasure.
Pleasure is not inherently bad - it’s totally fine!
It’s also not the same thing as happiness. Two things can be true at once.
Happiness is in your soul. And that cookie is not going to move your soul and fulfill your life. Sorry, cookie.
LIE: I need to seek people and things that bring me happiness
FACT: Happiness does NOT come from others
Happiness is internal, NOT external.
You have to define it and work towards it yourself.
If you place your happiness (or worth, or value, or purpose) in others you will always fall short.
Not because they failed you, but because happiness lives in your soul and that is entirely your thing, not theirs.
External factors can contribute to your happiness, sure. But the actual fulfillment and joy that accompanies happiness come from YOU, buttercup!
To help shift your mindset, ask yourself:
“What did I do today to contribute to my happiness?” rather than “what did others do to make me happy today?”
LIE: If I just reach a certain point, I’ll be happy
FACT: Happiness is NOT an end goal
Sorry sweet pea, but this is all about the process.
We’ve all heard it. We’ve all said it.
If I just...get that job, finish this project, reach that relationship goal, make whatever money, etc etc ….I’ll be happy!
And, hey, maybe you will be! Because reaching a goal you set for yourself and real achievement is part of living a full, joyful life!
But it can’t end there.
Because life doesn’t end there.
So, just like placing your expectations of happiness in a cookie or in another person, you will eventually find yourself unfulfilled.
Because this is about the process.
Happiness is a state within your heart and soul, not an end point to be reached only after X goal is achieved or Y point is reached.
To help shift the mindset here, try asking these questions:
“What did I do today to be my best?”
“What can I do today to move forward in my journey?”
“What can I do today to contribute to creating meaningful connections in my community/team/family/company/organization/neighborhood/relationships/etc?”
“What actually makes me happy?”
Your happiness is your responsibility.
And it takes constant work.
IT IS NOT an end point. It doesn’t come from others. Or from just having fun.
IT IS working everyday to do your best, to make meaning from your experiences, and contribute positively to your world!
So what is the next step you can take to be the best, and happiest, version of you?!